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The Incorrect Art of War [Episode 03] – Never March on Moscow

A J Summersgill and Jim H Moreno | February 04, 2005  | 0 comments  | Print  | E-mail

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Starring:

Doctor Sinister
Doctor Sinister

Doctor Sinister. An evil Supervillain with an insane lust for power. From his secret island base, the Doctor plans to become future Emperor and Warlord of the planet Earth. Enjoys the company of cats and cloned genetically modified Dinosaurs.

And featuring:


General Menace. Graduated from West Point Military Academy with honours, served for twenty-five years in the US Army, reaching level of 2-star General in command of training facilities before being recruited by Doctor Sinister to command his New Model Army of World Domination. Has a penchant for cigars.

EPISODE 3 – “Never March on Moscow”

Unseen jet fighters scream overhead as General Menace, sporting expensive sunglasses and a newly polished chrome battle helmet springs up the steps of the Sinister Imperial Command Complex, deftly saluting the armed guards and pausing only briefly as the distant explosion of a crashing fighter plane rattles across the mountain.

Five minutes later, in Doctor Sinister’s office…

Doctor Sinister: Ah, good to see you General.

General: Reporting as ordered, Sir.

Take a seat.

(Glances at the egg-shaped chair…)

Yes, you can sit down over there, don’t worry about the blood stains, they’re dry.

Thank you Sir. Bit of an accident outside, we seem to have lost another Fighter. I knew it was a mistake to attempt to train robot monkeys to fly multi-million-dollar jets.

Nonsense, how else will they learn? But never mind that right now, I’ve been taking a look at the World Map and wondering what we can do with this Army thing we’ve managed to build up. Any thoughts?

I’m glad you asked, Sir. I’ve just completed the TO&E according to SOP…

Because, you see, I think we need to consider adopting an aggressive strategy of conquest if we’re to fulfill my dreams of total world domination.

My Lord, I was under the impression this was going to be a defensive Army, to defend your base whilst we build Doomsday Devices…?

Yes yes yes, of course, all of that, but I had a dream last night.

A dream, Sir?

Yes, and a vivid one it was. I was riding through the streets of New York in a Jeep and people were cheering me and I was adored by everyone. It was a victory celebration, General, and those come only after we have been victorious in combat against an enemy country, correct?

You are correct Master…

So I’ve decided to conquer something. I need your thoughts about what, where, and whom we can conquer.

Ah…

Any ideas?

Well Sir, since our soldiers have yet to be field tested, I’d recommend starting with a small operation. Maybe an island , or some innocuous third-world country-

Like Russia?

Russia? Don’t know, Sir, I’ve never been there, can’t say if I like it or not.

No, General, I meant as a country we should conquer. The Russians haven’t a clue, have they? We could do that one in a week.

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