The Incorrect Art of War [Episode 05] - Operation Icebox of Death

A J Summersgill, Jim H Moreno and Brian King | April 02, 2005  | 0 comments  | Print  | E-mail

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Starring:

Doctor Sinister

Doctor Sinister. An evil Supervillain with an insane lust for power. From his secret island base, the Doctor plans to become future Emperor and Warlord of the planet Earth. Enjoys the company of cats and cloned genetically modified Dinosaurs.

And featuring:

General Menace. Graduated from West Point Military Academy with honours, served for twenty-five years in the US Army, reaching level of 2-star General in command of training facilities before being recruited by Doctor Sinister to command his New Model Army of World Domination. Has a penchant for cigars.

EPISODE 5 - Operation Icebox of Death

The sun beams down benignly on a beautiful blue sea as soft waves gently ripple up to a tranquil golden beach. Birds fly about without a care in the world, and then drop lifeless into the sea as a large Motor Torpedo Boat thunderously appears from around the coastline, its twin .50 calibre machine guns spitting out random death. On the beach, someone falls to the ground choking.

The boat pulls up to a large wooden pontoon where a tall, dark figure stands waiting. Aboard the vessel, General Menace, caked in fresh mud, resplendant in full battle dress and carrying a heavy haversack berates the gunner for wasting valuable ammunition as he spies the figure standing on the boat dock. Literally bouncing in excitement, Doctor Sinister watches as the General clambers off the boat.

Five minutes later, in the Island Of Fear Tropical Cabana Pub’ & Amusement Arcade…

Doctor Sinister: Good to see you General! I want to introduce you to my latest (and most brilliant) plan for world domination.

General Menace: But of course, Your Benevolence. I’m most anxious to see what has inspired you to bring me back early from my training exercises, once again.

I knew you would be! You are always most receptive to my ideas!

(Skips over to the bar, grabs something and places a towel over it as the General walks up behind him)

Underneath this soiled bar towel is the answer to world domination!

(The General pauses, holding his breath.)

Well, General? Are you going to ask or aren’t you?

(Sighs) Very well, My Liege. Please show me what you have underneath that bar towel, that will help us attain world domination?

I thought you’d never ask!

(Doctor Sinister throws back the towel to reveal – a rather ordinary glass of ice-filled water.)

TA-DA!

(Tired and weary.) Bravo My Master, you’ve invented ice water. I shall immediately recall all spies and covert ops. Forgive my sarcasm, Sire, but I just don’t understand how a glass of cold water will allow us to conquer Earth.

General, have you no imagination? It is not the water, it is the ice which will make us invincible! I have envisioned using one of Earth’s greatest natural weapons to wreak havoc upon our enemies, by developing a floating platform made from secret ice-based materials which we, uhh, devised in the laboratory recently. I propose to float a ring of ice around Great Britain and starve the entire country until they submit to me as their leader. Here now, look at this.

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