The Incorrect Art of War [Episode 05] - Operation Icebox of Death

A J Summersgill, Jim H Moreno and Brian King | April 02, 2005  | 0 comments  | Print  | E-mail

Of course…

…your execution of a blockade of the British Isles remains a few cubes short of a full tray.

Do go on.

Blockades traditionally are fairly ineffective due to the large areas that must be covered and the great number of potential holes that often spring up, not to mention the lucrative business of running through them. Throughout history, a blockade could be something as simple as surrounding a castle and attempting to starve out the enemy without a fight, to a high seas blockade, such as the Union blockage of Confederate ports, which did eventually have some success as the American Civil War progressed. The Germans tried twice to blockade Great Britain just as you are proposing, but using U-boats and surface raiders to enforce their will upon the Islands. They of course failed. Even serious efforts such as the Soviet blockade of West Berlin in 1948 was nullified by a fantastic air re-supply effort called the Berlin Airlift. The successful blockade runners were hailed as heroes and the plan backfired on the Soviets. So, My Lord, you can see-

That we will be the first modern success story!

No, I was going to say that we will be the laughing stock of the Union of Supervillains if we pour all, or any, of our money into this plan. Not only is the plan itself suspect, but I seriously have to question the motives of whoever dropped that doll in the water for us to find. I think these “secret plans” were planted – designed to get us to waste our hard-embezzled dollars on a ‘white elephant’.

A White Elephant you say? I don’t follow you. There are no Elephants around here. We had them all exterminated. But that gives me an idea. As for you young lady, come with me.

(Grabs doll and throws it into a small closet filled with other dolls)

If not a ship of ice, how about an Elephant of Ice! We’ll kidnap one of those professional chain-saw wielding ice sculpture artists to shape it and hollow out the inside for a place to hide our soldiers in, and push the massive ice sculpture…

Where’s that Barman? I need another Shirley Temple. Make it a large one, and no ice!

Isles.

A J Summersgill, Jim H. Moreno and our very special guest-writer, Brian King

andrew@armchairgeneral.com

jim@armchairgeneral.com

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