The Incorrect Art of War [Episode 07] - Building The Colossus

A J Summersgill and Jim H Moreno | June 14, 2005  | 0 comments  | Print  | E-mail

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Starring:

Doctor Sinister

Doctor Sinister. An evil Supervillain with an insane lust for power. From his secret island base, the Doctor plans to become future Emperor and Warlord of the planet Earth. Enjoys the company of cats and cloned genetically modified Dinosaurs.

And featuring:

General Menace. Graduated from West Point Military Academy with honours, served for twenty-five years in the US Army, reaching level of 2-star General in command of training facilities before being recruited by Doctor Sinister to command his New Model Army of World Domination. Has a penchant for cigars.

EPISODE 7 - “Building the Colossus”

The sun rises nervously for another day over the imposing Mount Despair, home to the Sinister Imperial Command Complex, as General Menace strides confidently towards the same dark tower of rock, the domain of his lord and master.

Bleary-eyed guards snap to attention as the General approaches. Pausing before entering the complex, he looks the guards up and down in disgust and berates them for their sloppy uniforms, unshaved faces, and the fact that they’ve put their rifle magazines in back to front, before heading inside.

Five minutes later, in the War Room…

Doctor Sinister: Good afternoon General! How are things?

General: As well as can be expected Sir, although we’re having some problems calibrating the new AA missile systems and…

Good, good, excellent work, fantastic. General, I have great news!

Oh, Thank You Sir! We finally have cigars, right?

No! I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to -

(Shudders) Excuse me, Sire, but when did you get a car? When did you learn to drive? Have you forgotten what happened during the Jeep driving lessons I tried to teach you out in the cow pasture?

I thought we’d agreed never to mention that again. Never mind. Cigars you say? Oh, I’ll get some more in for you next time. Right now, I want to show you something. What do you think of this?

A napkin Sir?

(Nods) Yes. And what do you see on the napkin?

Looks like spaghetti stains…

No no, on the other side. Turn it over.

Ah! I see. A drawing. It’s a bit smudged I’m afraid Sir. What is it my Lord?

My latest creation.

Sir?

The Colossus!

The Colossus Sir?

Yes! The Colossus! She’s two-miles long, the finest Battleship in the world! She’ll be my new flagship.

Flagship Sir?

Yes, I’m going to build a surface Navy. To complement the nuclear Submarine fleet. A whole fleet of two-mile long Battleships.

Oh.

It’ll be the most glorious Navy the world has ever seen. Just you wait and see. And I’ll make you an Admiral.

Me Sir? But I’m strictly a landlubber My Lord, I’ve never commanded a Ship.

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