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Posted on Jul 31, 2007 in Front Page Features, TIAOW

The Incorrect Art of War [Episode 32] – The Night of the Long Diodes

By A J Summersgill and Jim H Moreno

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Starring:

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Doctor Sinister. An evil Supervillain with an insane lust for power. Although his original secret island base was seemingly destroyed, the Doctor spent some time on the run and now occupies the defunct Mount Cheyenne facility in Colorado where he still plots to become future Emperor and Warlord of the planet Earth. Enjoys the company of cats, cloned genetically modified Dinosaurs and people who say "yes" all the time.

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And featuring:

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General Menace. Graduated from West Point Military Academy with honours, served for twenty-five years in the US Army, reaching level of 2-star General in command of training facilities before being recruited by Doctor Sinister to command his New Model Army of World Domination. Narrowly escaped the apparent destruction of Sinister Island and runs the Cheyenne Mountain facility with his lord and master. Has a penchant for cigars and Alyssa Milano.

EPISODE 32 – "The Night of the Long Diodes"

There is a tense atmosphere within the Cheyenne Facility command centre as Doctor Sinister and General Menace sit hunched over computer readouts, occasionally glancing at the main screen on the wall ahead of them. The doors on one side of the room are bolted tightly shut, the lights are dim, the entire base operating on emergency power alone.

General Menace flicks a switch to display a vision of the main entrance to the complex on the central monitor and increases the volume. It is night outside, but all is most certainly not calm. As the moon shines down, the General can see the shattered entrance to the base, and hear the sporadic sound of automatic gunfire drifting through the air. Helicopter gunships are hovering over the blasted steel doors – the ubiquitous S.INC guards are nowhere to be seen, instead men wearing the uniform of the US Army are pouring into the base.

There is a dull thud on the other side of one of the locked armour plated doors and Doctor Sinister looks up in alarm.

Doctor Sinister: That’s not good.

General Menace: No indeed my Lord, it sounds like the enemy forces are just the other side of that door. We sealed that side of the room just in time.

Goodness me, this is awful.

Yes, I’m afraid it is my Lord.

I only hope they are safe…

Our troops my lord? Unlikely. On that side of the base they are most likely dead or in custody your Excellency.

Actually I was referring to my cats.

Ah yes, of course…how foolish of me.

Although, I activated Code Omega as soon as the alarm went off from the controls in my arm so they should be safe, but…

Hang on a minute…Code Omega?

Yes.

I thought Code Omega was the command to evacuate and regroup at the secret rendezvous?

No no no, that’s Code Epsilon.

So what’s Code Omega?

An urgent overriding instruction to Special Detachment Five to find my cats and secure them for our escape.

Special Detachment Five?

Yes.

One of the crack counter-intrusion squads I set up? The best of the best? The elite? Our finest men?

Well, yes…

You’ve got them chasing after cats?

Who better? I mean, Fox and Dana are very valuable, as cats go…and I’d be lost without them….

But my Lord, I gave express instructions that, in the event of an attack, Special Detachment Five were to defend this facility to the death. Right now they ought to be out there engaging the enemy.

Well, we’ve got enough men to be doing all of that…haven’t we?

(Exasperated) Apparently not my Lord. You know, I wondered why the enemy assault was so swift and so successful…you’ve sent some of our best men off on a wild cat chase. (Sigh) Not to mention the fact that you haven’t activated Code Epsilon. (The General flicks a switch and a low chime begins to sound repeatedly through the base) There, now that’s done. Let’s just hope the other Detachments gave a good account of themselves before they succumbed.

I expect you can ask them when you see them.

Yes…we can…what? Excellency…please don’t tell me the others are looking for your cats as well…

No, don’t be ridiculous.

Phew…for a moment there…

Special Detachment Four are packing my cases, Special Detachment Three are busy valeting the escape pod, and Special Detachment One is knocking us up a fabulous packed lunch for the trip – you really can’t devalue the benefit of having good men whom you trust making sandwiches…

(Panicking) Oh my God…you’ve left us wide open, we’ve just got the regular troops to hold the line…it’s no wonder we…hang on…what about Special Detachment Two?

[continued on next page]

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