My lord, with respect, no, that’s not what H.A.T.E. is trying to tell us. Operation Hammer was basically a massive bluff on your part – you’d commit our entire air force to worldwide attacks, in an effort to appear much more powerful than you truly are…but as the Japanese discovered after Pearl Harbor…they’d bitten off a lot more than they could chew. Once the Americans entered the war, they outproduced and outfought their enemies with masses of equipment, manpower and superior technology. I rather suspect H.A.T.E. is trying to tell you that your plan is a bit…silly.

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Silly?

Well, yes, we don’t have nearly enough manpower to fight a major war, your grand gesture would turn into a damp squib within hours once we were located. If history teaches us anything, it’s to know your limitations – look at Hitler, he invaded the USSR and lost all that he had gained. The same thing happened with Napoleon, even the Roman Empire overstretched itself at times. No my Lord, we need to be more subtle in our plans…small bites at the cherry, not grand gestures.

Well why couldn’t the damned computer have told me that in the first place instead of insisting we fly out here to play tourist?

Oh, you know H.A.T.E., he’s a bit cryptic at times. Besides, we could do with a vacation.

That’s holiday, not vacation General, honestly, I really must do something about this strange vernacular of yours…

Yes my Lord.

Come on, let’s take a tour of the facilities, we might pick up something interesting…I’ve been thinking about revamping those plans I had for the five-mile long battleship…did I ever mention that to you?

(The two men head back to the Humvee…with Doctor Sinister’s robotic fist clenching and unclenching frantically)

Will our two heroes be able to relax and enjoy their holiday or will more weird and improbable things take place?

What on Earth is wrong with Doctor Sinister’s robotic arm?

And who sells Hawaiian eyepatches anyway?

Find out in the next bewildering episode of…The Incorrect Art of War!!

A J Summersgill and Jim Moreno.

andrew@armchairgeneral.com

jim@armchairgeneral.com

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