No your Superiousness, the submarines were just very small, the crewmembers were regular size.

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Ah, that makes more sense. Because I don’t know of any shops where one can buy army boots that small…although the Build-A-Bear Workshop chain does sell some neat military uniforms for teddy bears…

Please, your Excellency, perhaps we could concentrate on the events of 1941?

Oh, very well. You said there was an attack?

Yes, as a result of mounting tension between the USA and the Japanese Empire, the Japanese Navy launched an all-out attack on the fleet stationed here at anchor. As a result of the attack, the US lost 5 battleships, 3 destroyers, 3 cruisers, and 188 planes. Down there, that’s what they called "Battleship Row" – the Japanese planes found the heaviest American warships all lined up neatly for their torpedoes. It was a devastating attack.

Aha! The killer blow eh?

Well, not exactly my Lord.

Oh, stop being ridiculous – it sounds like the US lost most of their fleet – this undoubtedly explains the dominance of Japanese electronics these days – no doubt the US had no choice but to surrender immediately.

My Lord, I sometimes wonder if you’ve got even a basic grasp of world history – of course the US didn’t surrender, in fact they immediately declared war on the Japanese.

Utter madness – I mean, it’s not as if they stood much of a chance.

I beg your pardon?

Oh, come on, it stands to reason, the Japanese must have wiped the floor with the Americans. I mean, after all, this is the same nation that produced the Nintendo Wii.

The what?

Haven’t you played it? Oh, you must…I reached Pro’ level in Wii Sports Bowling just the other day. If it weren’t for my arm problem I was thinking of having a Wii remote built into the circuitry.

I think we’re straying from the point…

Ah, yes, your fantasy that with most of their Pacific fleet lost, the Americans fought back…

My Lord, the USA had the largest industrial capacity in the world – by attacking the States, all the Japanese did was to awaken a sleeping giant. Their defeat was inevitable. The attack on Pearl Harbor wasn’t as conclusive as it might have been…the most important American ships had left port for exercises.

I see…and they were?

The Aircraft carriers my lord. World War 2 essentially saw the end of the Battleship as the primary capital ship of any fleet, from that point on, the aircraft carrier would be the ultimate weapon – with the ability to project power over a much greater radius. And the Americans still had their carriers. That single factor was instrumental in helping the US to assist the rest of the allies in winning World War 2 and hastened the destruction of the Japanese Empire and Nazi Germany. You know…suddenly I think I know why H.A.T.E. sent us here. You had that plan to launch a simultaneous pre-emptive strike on all the major world powers as a show of strength…

Ah yes, Operation Hammer – the plan is quite genius if I might say so myself, we declare war on the entire planet, launch airstrikes all around the globe and everyone backs down when they see how far we can project our power all at once – it can’t fail.

On the contrary…

…Yes yes, it’s clear to me now, H.A.T.E. wants us to learn the lessons of Pearl Harbour – namely, don’t allow your enemy any lucky breaks. The Japanese allowed the American carriers to survive, and as a result, they lost the war. We must ensure that our plans are watertight General…double check our targets and ensure that we achieve maximum impact wherever we strike!

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