Man: We tracked you guys on television. We don’t have much time. (To the Doctor) Your Supremacy, we have a situation "prepared" for you to help rebuild your empire.

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Wait? Did you say television. We are on television?

Man: Oh definitely, the whole world is following you. In fact the ratings of many cable news channels have gone off the charts as your story grows (oddly the same is true of many of the world’s comedy stations). Many believe it was the BBC that provided that fake Police officer and cruiser so that you could escape the Alamo. They filmed the whole thing, including the Doctor’s crying and tantrum when he thought he was captured, and before he gave all his money to the actor playing the Policeman.

Well that explains a few things.

(Laying on his stomach still) It was staged?

Man: (Nods grimly) Yes, you were picked by the networks the moment you arrived on Staten Island. We’ve been desperately trying to hook up with you ever since but you keep moving around the country.

IT WAS STAGED?

Man: There is no time to explain further. I’m sorry I have to do this my Lord but we must get you to safety…

(As the gang of black-clad men don gasmasks, our two heroes and their feline companions are put to sleep by gas grenades)

* * *

(Some hours later, in the cab of the 18 wheeler carrying this secretive bunch along with their captured guests…)

Driver: Where are we taking them again?

Man: Upstate New York. There is something special planned for them. It should be…Wonderful.

(As the truck plows into the sunrise, it passes a pair of Police cruisers parked next to the road. On the hood of one lay 2 content Police officers smoking some of the finest Cuban cigars this side of the Rio Grande)

Where are our two heroes being taken now?

Have they really been on reality television all this time?

Or is the whole thing being made up as it goes along?

Find out in the next wonderful episode of…The Incorrect Art of War!!

A J Summersgill, Jim Moreno and our special guest author, Brian King