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The Incorrect Art of War [Episode 24] – Fore!A J Summersgill, Jim H Moreno and Brian King | November 22, 2006 | 0 comments | Print | E-mail (Talking directly into the dirt) Thank you sir, I’m fine… (The Doctor responds but is virtually inaudible) Sorry sir? Are you alright? Sir? (The General only hears a cool night breeze in the local scrub and begins to wonder how he could possibly have lost track of one of the loudest men he knows…) (A little louder now) Sir?! Your Magnificence? (The General runs around frantically, shouting for his lord and master, before collapsing against a rock. Minutes go by, then an hour – suddenly, in a flash out of the darkness a golf cart arrives with the Doctor at the helm, and two cats next to him on the front seat) We have arrived! General, I am saved! No more walking tonight. (Not sure whether to be upset or relieved) Indeed sir, and…where were you just now? Well, would you believe it, the most fantastic thing happened, there I was, wandering around, when, with great serendipity, I stumbled upon a means of escape. This cart shall carry us to freedom! (Confused, the General squeezes himself into the back seat of the cart, with his feet upon the luggage, while the Doctor and the cats sit up front in comparative comfort) Your Excellency, I’m not sure how far this electric powered cart will carry us, even if there were a place where an evil supergenius and his loyal general could call "freedom." Really general, you are quite the sourpuss tonight. You aren’t still upset about leaving that bundle of cigars back in the Police cruiser are you? What!? There were cigars in that cruiser – the one we drove for nearly 24 hours? I didn’t think it was important, but apparently the cruiser was used in a Police operation seizing a number of boxes of Cuban Cigars before we acquired it. Can you imagine the luck?! But seriously, when we had to abandon it, hard choices had to be made about what we could carry. But…but you carried nothing! And, and… (The General’s face reddens, but he is unable to voice the anger without incurring serious bodily harm…and as he seethes in the back, the cart pulls up next to a structure. The Doctor is singing to his cats as he parks the cart next to an obelisk) My Lord. (With great frustration, and almost tears, the General has had enough) I just want to go home. I don’t care about Police, UFO’s, secret bases, or high tech weaponry. I’m tired, and I’ve come to accept the fact that even in prison I can probably get a good cigar. Come on! You aren’t quitting on me again are you? We are on the cusp of victory over our enemies, now is when I finally NEED you with me. What does that mean? That you didn’t need me before? (Oblivious) This obelisk thingy is fascinating…I wonder what it is. (The General looks at his surroundings as the glow of sunrise permeates the night and a wry smile washes over his face) Oh delightful, as usual we’ve stumbled onto something that is of no use whatsoever to our current plight. Your genius has led us back in time to 1945. 1945? My God! I’m the greatest genius of all time; I’ve procured a time traveling GOLF CART! (Sarcastically) Indeed my lord. You are now standing in the year 1945, and the precise date, unless I’m mistaken, which, you know, I’m not, is July the 16th. In fact, our the precise location is Trinity Site New Mexico. Any minute now we will be vaporized as the United States tests its first nuclear weapon. You see that tower there, the bomb is on top, ready to be detonated to the amazement and wonder of scientists of the Manhattan Project. Congratulations. We will be the first people to be wiped out by an atomic weapon. Pages: 1 2 3 4
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