The Incorrect Art of War [Episode 23] – Forget the Alamo

Hang on a minute, it was you who decided to crack the lock on the gate, don’t blame me for all of this…

General, you’re fired, I’ve just about had enough of your utter, utter incompetence. You can’t even fly properly, I don’t know why I ever hooked up with you in the first place.

But me no buts, give me that briefcase. (General Menace hands over the briefcase propped up against the wall and Doctor Sinister opens it) There, take it, three million dollars, representing your back pay and your share of the winnings from Vegas. Now get out of my way, I’m leaving.

(General Menace watches, aghast, as Doctor Sinister, struggling with the cat crate and the briefcase, heads towards the door)

(Doctor Sinister opens the door to see a startled Policeman on the other side, who was just about to knock. Doctor Sinister swiftly closes the door again)

(Half an hour later, Doctor Sinister and General Menace are leaving San Antonio with the General at the wheel of a Police cruiser)

Thanks once again General. Sorry for firing you back there, I promise I’ll make it up to you.

No worries my Lord, I understand the pressures of command. I’m surprised my scheme for escape went as well as it did though.

Me too, if only that Cop had known how much more money we had in the case.

Three million dollars seems like a small price to pay for our freedom, and he was kind enough to throw the car in as well. Although I could have bought a lot of cigars with that kind of money…

It just goes to show, a bit of lateral thinking can work wonders. You see, if Crockett and Bowie had adopted my plan and paid off the Mexicans, they could have got away scot free and won their revolution.

Your plan? Can I just say…oh, never mind. Besides which, the Texans won their revolution at the end anyway, despite the outcome of the Battle of the Alamo. Later that year, General Sam Houston led the Texas Army to victory at the Battle of San Jacinto.

Yes, but, just think of the hassle they could have saved themselves if they’d simply given the Mexican Army a truckload of cash, you see? Easy.

With respect my Lord, I don’t see honourable men like Crockett and Bowie going down that route.

Maybe not, after all, not everyone can be a genius like myself.

No, my Lord…