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The Incorrect Art of War [Episode 22] – Unidentified Sinister Objects

A J Summersgill and Jim H Moreno | September 24, 2006  | 0 comments  | Print  | E-mail

I’ll give you this my Lord, you don’t do things by halves.

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Thank you General.

It’s just that, I worked out, with the amount of cash we have in this case, and with my Baccarat skills, we could play some cards, smoke some cigars and I guarantee you we could quadruple our money overnight and buy ourselves a new island by this time next week…

Enough of the whining General, we can go to Vegas anytime, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity!

…not to mention the legal bordellos.

The what?

Never mind.

(The two men walk in silence, with only the crying of an annoyed Siamese cat to break the stillness. Eventually…)

(Whispering) Well, here we are, this is one of the main hangars. There doesn’t seem to be anyone around…

No, but I think those helicopters are getting closer…

Let’s nip inside and see what they’re hiding here.

(Opening a side door, Doctor Sinister and General Menace enter the massive structure. It is pitch black inside)

Hmmm…not currently in use then.

I have a flashlight, let me see if I can find the light switch.

(General Menace places the cat box on the floor and gropes around for his flashlight before heading off to look for a light switch. One of the cats inside the box lets out a loud howl which echoes eerily around the huge space inside the hangar)

Ah, here we go.

(The hangar is suddenly flooded with light from several banks of strip lights hanging from the roof high above. Three shrouded shapes sit at the edges of the hangar floor. Doctor Sinister heads to the nearest one and pulls off the tarpaulin)

Wow.

Wow indeed General.

I am sorry for doubting you my Lord. This appears to be a heavily modified F-117A Nighthawk Stealth Fighter. It has a wider wingspan than the regular model and a less angular frame, presumably to reduce the RADAR signature even further.

Can we use it?

Alas no your Excellency, the engine bay is open, looks like someone was working on it, this thing isn’t going anywhere tonight.

(Doctor Sinister heads to the next, larger shape and pulls the tarpaulin off that one too)

Oh my…

Is that…?

Yes I think it is General, it’s a flying saucer.

(The two men stand looking at a fairly sizeable circular craft which bears USAF markings on top of a black frame. A small cockpit protrudes from the centre of the craft and missile hatches adorn the upper and lower sections of the saucer)

Interesting, although I don’t think this is alien.

Manmade?

Without a doubt, although the propulsion system looks a little odd – well, I say it looks a little odd, but I can’t see one at all, so change that to very odd. You know, it does look similar to the German BMW Flugelrad – a type of experimental craft dating from World War 2.

Can we use it?

I wouldn’t have a clue how to fly such a thing Sagacity. Besides, the cockpit would never hold all of us.

Which leaves contestant number three… (Doctor Sinister heads to the third, largest shape and pulls off the cover) Bingo!

(The third vehicle is a large, extremely slender and sleek, black, triangular-shaped aircraft)

I say…

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