Let me guess, we’re here to steal the plans to one of these designs?

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Not quite, there’s something else about Area 51 that has intrigued me for some time.

Uh-oh. Why do I get the feeling that we’re not going to make it to the luxury suites we booked at the Bellagio Hotel?

Rumours abound that the base is where the US Government stores captured or crashed alien spacecraft and that the technologies within these machines are being reverse-engineered for future use by mankind.

UFOs?

Yes! Did you ever hear of the Roswell incident?

I’m afraid not my Lord, I prefer to restrict my studies to real historical events.

This was a real historical event, the only controversy lies with which version of the story is true. In Roswell, New Mexico, it is said that an alien flying saucer crash-landed in July 1947. The incident was covered up by the military but there are those who believe that the remains of the saucer ended up here and that many of our new technologies derive from an examination of the machines on board the alien craft.

Your Excellency, reports of unidentified flying objects have plagued mankind for centuries, during World War II, allied pilots coined the phrase "Foo Fighter" to describe strange aerial phenomena that would occasionally be seen in the skies. At the time, they were suspected to have been experimental enemy aircraft, but since they never attempted to harm anyone, it’s more likely that they were just forms of ball lightning or other natural occurrences. I’m afraid I don’t subscribe to the theory that UFOs are flying saucers from another world.

Well, whether you subscribe or not is kind of a moot point General, since we’ll know for sure in a couple of hours.

We’re not…?

Yes indeed, get back to the car and fire up the engine, we’re heading to the airbase for a closer look. Just don’t turn the headlights on…

(Three hours later, a black limousine is driven warily down a dusty, rocky dirt-track towards the airbase that now fills the horizon up ahead. Stopping approximately half a mile from the nearest hangar, Doctor Sinister and General Menace emerge from the car and walk stealthily toward the massive building.)

(Struggling with a briefcase in one hand and an unwieldy cat box in the other) This is a very bad idea my Lord.

Oh do stop complaining, there’s a good chap. We’re trying to re-establish our power base, this isn’t a holiday you know.

(The sound of helicopters drifts over from the range of hills several miles behind them)

I think they’re onto us. It sounds like they’re checking out the hill where we were overlooking the facility.

Oh, undoubtedly, there are motion and pressure sensors and armed patrols at the perimeter to the base, we probably set off every alarm in the complex when we drove through the boundary. Fortunately, it’s a dark enough night, otherwise we could never have got as close as we did, let alone as far as we’ve got now.

My Lord, can’t we just get the hell out of here? I’m very nervous about all of this. Infiltrating a secret facility is dangerous enough even if you have the men and equipment to do so, let alone after the necessary planning, but we’re smack in the middle of this base, apparently on a whim, with two cats, a briefcase of cash and a limo’, just how are you expecting to get out again?

Something will crop up, and you told me the limo’ was getting stuffy anyway. We’ll leave it here. I haven’t come here to steal plans General, I’ve come here to steal us a ride.

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