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The Incorrect Art of War [Episode 02] – Project Sleigh-Ride

A J Summersgill and Jim H Moreno | December 09, 2004  | 0 comments  | Print  | E-mail

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Starring:

Doctor Sinister
Doctor Sinister

Doctor Sinister. An evil Supervillain with an insane lust for power. From his secret island base, the Doctor plans to become future Emperor and Warlord of the planet Earth. Enjoys the company of cats and cloned genetically modified Dinosaurs.

And featuring:


General Menace. Graduated from West Point Military Academy with honours, served for twenty-five years in the US Army, reaching level of 2-star General in command of training facilities before being recruited by Doctor Sinister to command his New Model Army of World Domination. Has a penchant for cigars.

EPISODE 2 – “Project Sleigh-Ride”

As the last light of a long day fades, General Menace strides up to the main doors of the Sinister Imperial Command Complex. He pauses only briefly to shake his head at the rows of twinkling fairy lights adorning the edges of the main entrance, and then stops short at the embarrassed guards dressed as holiday Elves, clutching their state-of-the-art assault rifles and miserably trying to snap to attention without ringing the bells on their furry hats.

The General enters the base, glancing about at the alarmingly large and lurid “Bio-Hazard” stickers hurriedly placed on the walls. He’s not lost on their striking contrast with the Christmas decorations that are strung from every torch, beam and supporting girder.

Five tinsel-clad minutes later, in the War Room…

General: Good evening, My Lord. My compliments, you’re looking a lot better than last week.

Doctor Sinister: Really? I bloody well don’t feel it. There are – things – flying around my head, whirling around the room. Can you see them?

Negative, Sir, I assure you, there’s nothing flying around the room. It’s probably a residual effect of the medication. Really, I think you look great. It looks like the cure has worked. Perhaps now we can re-open Lab 357 and allow everyone out? I’ve received reports they’re terribly hungry, and they’re all very sorry for allowing the sample to escape.

No, General, you will keep them locked up for another week, at least. I want them to suffer for their insolence. Would you like a cigar?

Ah, good news! They have arrived?

There are some flying around in the corner there, help yourself.

Right, maybe later, then. Your Benevolence, on my way here I noticed SEAL Team Two dressed as Elves struggling to bring a thirty-foot Christmas tree up through a service elevator shaft. Is this an effect of the escaped lab sample, also?

Observant as ever, General – it’s my latest plan for the conquest and subjugation of Earth.

(General Menace pushes aside a pile of multi-colored ribbons and bows for a seat on the couch)

Do tell, Sir, I’m all ears. A bit like the elves.

You see, I had a bit of a sleepless week, what with the infection and all. So, taking to heart your recommendation, I spent my nights watching documentaries about this D-Day invasion during World War Two, along with a couple of Christmas movies. Have a look at this.

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