The Incorrect Art of War [Episode 18] – Dive! Dive! Dive!

Amazing what new technology they have these days…

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Actually my Lord, the concept was first devised to detect icebergs in 1906. Then when the First World War broke out, efforts were directed towards the detection of submarines. By the time of the Second World War, different sets of equipment were available for the detection of surface and submerged vessels. The Battle of the Atlantic wouldn’t have been won without Sonar.

Cracking! Then let’s ping away. (The Doctor hits the button and a loud electronic "ping" echoes through the ship)

No! My Lord! That’s no good at all! Now that we’ve done that the enemy submarine behind has instantly spotted precisely where we are from our "ping" – it works both ways you see.

But you told me they already knew where we were…

Only in a very general sense my Lord, they are as blind as we are. They were some way behind us, probably trying to analyse the sounds from our engines to ascertain if they know who or what we are, now they know what we are, and where we are headed.

You mean they can’t actually see us? Then why the hell do we have a man outside painting a flag on the hull??

What? Because you said..

Find the fool who suggested the idea and have him shot…meanwhile, let’s get out of here…increase to maximum speed Captain!

No…your Excellency…

(It is too late, the submarine hums with power as the propellers begin to rotate as fast as they can and the vessel accelerates into the night. Suddenly…there is an alarm on one of the consoles…)

Now what?

Sonar contact my Lord! The American submarine has fired one…no two…torpedoes.

But why? They don’t know who we are, let alone that we are hostile!

Well, given that submarines of this size are exclusively military in design…we were already looking suspicious in their eyes. Not to mention the fact that we’re loitering near the site of a recent nuclear strike. Then we turned to see them, more suspicious activity. After that we gave them a "ping" and bolted off away from them at maximum speed – I’d say that’s a pretty fair indicator that we are not exactly friendly. I can’t honestly say I blame their Captain for deciding to attack.

Can we evade?

We can try, but already those torpedoes are closing. (Another alarm sounds) And another two have just been fired at us.

Shall we saunter in the direction of the escape pod?

Sir, it’s cramped, hot, and it has inadequate toilet facilities. (The alarms grow in intensity). Plus I’ve got to share it with your cats. (More alarms howl and flashing lights appear on every console) I wouldn’t have it any other way. Let’s go!