I…I just don’t…it’s…

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I think we’ve had a very productive afternoon.

Well, if nothing else, at least my Cigars are safe…that’s one thing that I…MY CIGARS!!

(Doctor Sinister turns to see one of his cats sitting astride the box of cigars, heartily chewing on one of them)

Get off! (He sweeps the cat from the box with a swipe of his arm, but catches the box as well and, as the cat leaps free, the box flies into what remains of the open hearth of the roaring fire and the cigars are totally consumed)

My…cigars…

(There is a sudden commotion and the General is thrown to his feet as a startled Bulldog thuds into his chest, followed swiftly by an enraged Siamese cat which lands on his face, claws tearing into his cheeks as the cat struggles to get free so it can pursue the dog once more. Eventually, the cat does loosen itself and it continues its pursuit of the dog around the apartment. The petrified dog leaps from one item of ruined bullet-ridden furniture to the next, its terrified barking filling the air before it makes one final leap – through the now non-existent window and ten storeys to the ground. There is a moment’s silence, before the barking starts again. General Menace exhales a sigh of relief at the sound, but there is a sudden screech of tyres, the sound of a car horn, topped off with the crash of breaking glass followed by total, deafening, silence)

My…dog…

(The two men stare at each other for what seems like an eternity)

Right then. (Looks at his watch) Thanks for inviting us around, I’ll let you get back to the ironing. (to the cats) Fox! Dana! Come, we’re leaving.

(Doctor Sinister leaves, with Captain Connor and the cats in tow as General Menace, amidst the total ruin that was his apartment only ten minutes before, begins very softly to cry)

A J Summersgill and Jim H. Moreno

andrew@armchairgeneral.com

jim@armchairgeneral.com

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