Armchair General small spacer
Armchair General magazine mastheadGo to Weider History GroupSubscribe to Armchair General MagazineLearn about latest issue of Armchair General

The Incorrect Art of War [Episode 13] – It’ll All Be Over By Christmas

A J Summersgill and Jim H Moreno | December 04, 2005  | 0 comments  | Print  | E-mail

Banner
Banner

Subscribe Today

Starring:

Doctor Sinister
Doctor Sinister

Doctor Sinister. An evil Supervillain with an insane lust for power. From his secret island base, the Doctor plans to become future Emperor and Warlord of the planet Earth. Enjoys the company of cats and cloned genetically modified Dinosaurs.

And featuring:

General Menace. Graduated from West Point Military Academy with honours, served for twenty-five years in the US Army, reaching level of 2-star General in command of training facilities before being recruited by Doctor Sinister to command his New Model Army of World Domination. Has a penchant for cigars.

EPISODE 13 – “It’ll All Be Over By Christmas”

It is dusk on Sinister Island. Twinkling multi-coloured lights adorn the entrance to the Sinister Imperial Command Complex as General Menace strides up the steps to the sound of "Silent Night" being softly and expertly sung by the ubiquitous Guards on the door. Despite the flashing Santa hats on their heads, the General is pleased to see that the Guards on the door are immaculately turned out as they stop their singing and snap to attention at the mere sight of him. The General briefly puzzles about when his soldiers might have had the time for singing lessons and then, on a whim, he decides to inspect their weapons, and is pleased to see that their multi-phase Plasma Rifles are perfectly clean and well-maintained, with full charges on the magazines.

As the General strolls through the base, the soldiers who pass him return perfect salutes, and also wear totally spotless regulation uniforms and Santa hats. The entire appearance is one of super-efficiency and decorum.

Proceeding deeper into the base, the sound of gaudy Christmas Carols blare out from the tannoy system.

Five minutes later, in the War Room…

Doctor Sinister: Welcome General! And a very Merry Christmas to you! I’m glad you could make it over here so quickly.

General Menace: I say…

(The General is rendered speechless, for the entire War Room has been transformed with an enormous banqueting table laid out in the centre. Armed guards lurk discreetly in the corners whilst servants rush to and fro with steaming tureens of soup, bowls of hot potatoes, meat and vegetables. A veritable army of Butlers is on standby in the shadows supplying seemingly endless bottles of wine and champagne. Seated at the table, Doctor Sinister’s entire entourage of senior officials, scientists, dinosaur tamers, Ambassadors, secret agents, military personnel and advisors are already tucking in to their starters, Dodo meat in an Orchid leaf salad. The General takes his honoured position at one end of the massive table, opposite Doctor Sinister himself who sits at the other end in an ornately plush throne like chair.)

And a very Merry Christmas to you of course your Excellency, and thank you for the invitation to your Christmas dinner, although I must confess that I am a little confused as to why we are celebrating so early? It is only the fourth of December.

I’m sorry General, did you say something? (The general hubbub of conversation around the table is gradually increasing in volume in direct proportion to the amount of alcohol being consumed.)

Pages: 1 2 3 4

Post a Comment

Please note that Armchair General Staff cannot respond to requests for research of any type. Please visit our research forum to post research questions. If you have a question about our magazine, please use the contact us form.

Related Articles



Armchair General Spacer

SPONSORED SITES




Armchair General Spacer

OPINION POLL

Q: Which of these two conquerors do you rate as the greatest?

View Results

See previous polls

STAY CONNECTED WITH US

RSS Feed
 
Daily Armchair General Update
 
 

Armchair General on Twitter Armchair General on Myspace Armchair General on Facebook

What is Armchair General?

Armchair General (ACG) and ACG online feature a unique, interactive editorial approach that invites the reader to decide the course of action in challenging historical scenarios, to step into the shoes of a battlefield commander. Leading historians and contributors lend integrity and credibility to this fresh presentation of historical and contemporary events.

Armchair General is the INTERACTIVE history magazine where YOU COMMAND and decide the course of action!

Armchair General's Feedburner Link Get our RSS!
Weider History Group Newsletter Newsletter Signup

What We Write About

Our Other Magazines

Weider History Network:  HistoryNet | Armchair General | Great History | Achtung Panzer!

Copyright © 2004-2008 Armchair General L.L.C., All rights reserved.