USMC Staff Sgt. Jeremiah Workman receiving the Navy Cross. Photo by Lance Cpl. Troy Loveless.

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On December 23, 2004, in the Iraqi city of Fallujah, then-Corporal Jeremiah Workman led a squad of U.S. Marines into an enemy-occupied building where other Marines had been cut off and isolated. For hours, he and his men made repeated attacks under heavy fire. Three Marines died that day, including two of those they were trying to rescue. Workman personally dragged one wounded man to safety as a sniper’s bullets ricocheted off the street.

For his actions, he was awarded the Navy Cross and was told his commander had recommended him for the Medal of Honor. Everyone would say Jeremiah Workman was an American hero.

Everyone except Jeremiah Workman.

Wracked by survivor’s guilt and suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) after returning home, he ran up a $3,000 bar tab self-medicating with alcohol. He fought frequently with his wife and engaged in self-destructive behavior that culminated in a suicide attempt.

He’s not alone. In 2008, the U.S. Marine Corps reported 22 confirmed and suspected post-deployment suicides and eight in-theater, plus 13 more among Marines with no deployment history; an additional 146 suicides were attempted. For the first time, this rate of 19.5 per 100,000 nearly equaled the civilian suicide rate of 19.9 per 100,000. Marine suicide rates in 2002, the last year before deployment to the Mideast began, were 23 known and suspected, or 12.5 per 100,000. Other military branches are also reporting a similar rise in suicides and suicide attempts.

It is, Workman says, "The eight-thousand-mile sniper shot."

After confronting his own demons, Workman now is a public speaker about PTSD and a consultant to the Marines Corps’ suicide prevention program. With his writing collaborator, John R. Bruning, he tells his story in Shadow of the Sword: A Marine’s Journey of War, Heroism, and Redemption, a soul-searing, nothing-held-back memoir due for publication by Presidio Press in September 2009.

On September 1, Jeremiah Workman, now a staff sergeant serving with the Wounded Warrior Regiment at Quantico, Virginia, talked in an exclusive interview with ArmchairGeneral.com.

ArmchairGeneral.com: Thank you for talking with us, Sgt. Workman. People called you a hero for your actions in Fallujah. You received the Navy Cross. You saved men’s lives. Why would you feel guilty?

Staff Sergeant Jeremiah Workman: We don’t consider ourselves heroes. You always feel like you could have done more. You talk to guys who have received the Medal of Honor, and even they will say that they felt they could have done more. As a squad leader, you want to take your people over there and bring them back alive.

ACG: Your memoir doesn’t seem to hold anything back, and you aren’t always a likeable character in it. In effect, you’re putting yourself in the line of fire again. Why did you decide to go public with your story?

JW: A lot of people are asking me about PTSD. I felt embarrassed, felt like I was hiding something. One day a reporter asked me for an interview for the Washington Post. I didn’t want to do it, but I went home and thought about it, and I decided I’m going to put this out there. Once it’s out there I don’t have to feel ashamed anymore. I don’t have to hide what I’m feeling anymore.

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