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Warfare Through the Ages Roman, Greek, Japanese, etc. Topics cover all manner of pre-modern warfare and empire-building and crushing.

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  #1  
Old 10 Mar 11, 12:48
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What was the weirdest battle ever fought?

As in which battle throughout history has stood out as being the most unusual and unconventional?

Last edited by Political Chimp; 10 Mar 11 at 13:25..
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  #2  
Old 10 Mar 11, 13:17
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Skorzenys Panther/M10 deception comes to mind as something pretty unconventional.

J_S

[EDIT] Did the question change or is my dyslexia acting up. LOL
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  #3  
Old 10 Mar 11, 13:30
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The early battles in the European conquest of the American continent. Small groups of Spanish colonials and conquerors, with no guarantees of making it back to Europe, no knowledge of the terrain and language. Small groups that managed to manipulate the host environment and entire kingdoms to unbelievable results, eventually gaining supremacy.
It was the closest thing we have to an alien invasion.
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  #4  
Old 11 Mar 11, 23:26
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Hmmmm....renaissance mercenary battles where the mercs arranged in advance no one would get hurt?

No. The one in ancient China where the outnumbered general had two girls dance naked on a hill. When the other army stopped to watch, he attacked them from behind.
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  #5  
Old 11 Mar 11, 23:42
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Janos View Post
Hmmmm....renaissance mercenary battles where the mercs arranged in advance no one would get hurt?

No. The one in ancient China where the outnumbered general had two girls dance naked on a hill. When the other army stopped to watch, he attacked them from behind.
hey do you got a link for that battle I am still laughing.
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  #6  
Old 11 Mar 11, 23:48
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Janos View Post
Hmmmm....renaissance mercenary battles where the mercs arranged in advance no one would get hurt?

No. The one in ancient China where the outnumbered general had two girls dance naked on a hill. When the other army stopped to watch, he attacked them from behind.
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  #7  
Old 11 Mar 11, 23:57
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hey do you got a link for that battle I am still laughing.
OK, I was going by memory. After getting this note, I checked the book and they were not naked, just "scantily clad". Can't find a link, just an old-fashioned paper book The Armies and Enemies of Ancient China 1207BC-1268AD, by John Greer, page 56, "623 AD - The Battle of Kansu".

The creative Chinese commander was Chai Shao, and the enemy were the Huns.

The book says the girls, "performed curious and obscene dances and gestures, and sang lewd songs in full view of their barbarian friends."

Your mama told you to watch out for that kind of girl, now you know why.
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  #8  
Old 12 Mar 11, 04:09
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Battle of Karansebes 1788

Quote:
The Austrian Emperor, Joseph II, decided that his mission in life was to rid the world of barbarians. He started by attacking the Turks in Transylvania. After camping in some marshland, 172,000 of his troops caught malaria, of which 33,000 died. When he heard that the Turkish Grand Vizier was on his way, Joseph took half his army to meet him near the town of Karansebes. On the way, some infantrymen bought some local brew from some peasants, whereupon their officers reprimanded them.

The men took offence, and, in order to frighten the officers away, started shouting out that the Turks were upon them. The officers fell for it, and raised the false alarm too. Panic spread throughout the army and a stampede ensued. Austrians started fighting Austrians and many men were also drowned in the river or crushed.

By daybreak, it became apparent that the Austrians had killed 10,000 of their own number. The Turks had still not even arrived.
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  #9  
Old 12 Mar 11, 13:48
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Gideon's 300 victory over 10,000+ Midianites. Very interesting battle.

(I think Nick's takes the cake though) (course that China man's battle musta been a sight to see)
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Old 12 Mar 11, 13:56
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Britain vs Zanzibar war

Started and ended in 38 minutes.
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Old 12 Mar 11, 18:31
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Well maybe we could even consider D-Day...the British on Sword Beach took about 37 minutes to get inland and it took the Americans on Omaha Beach most of the day...those Germans didn't even out the defenses too much...

Janos' dancing girls one is one of the best if not the best one that's been posted though.
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Old 12 Mar 11, 18:34
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Quote:
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Hmmmm....renaissance mercenary battles where the mercs arranged in advance no one would get hurt?

No. The one in ancient China where the outnumbered general had two girls dance naked on a hill. When the other army stopped to watch, he attacked them from behind.
The girls?
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Old 13 Mar 11, 12:57
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The silliest that i have heard of is the battle of Tanga in ww1.
The British attacked the german-held city of Tanga, but were attacked by swarms of angry African bees. Apparently intire battalions ran away from the battle, they just could not stand the bees.

Oh and Janos, please do tell us more of that chinese battle .
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Old 13 Mar 11, 13:54
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The girls?
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Old 13 Mar 11, 14:40
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first Sikh war, the Sikh commanders, at evcery battle, outnumbered and outgunned their foe, but their OWN generals were concoiusly tripping them up at every turn.
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