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Go Back   Armchair General and HistoryNet >> The Best Forums in History > Forum Resources > The Barracks > Barracks Humor

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Barracks Humor Post humor and jokes, but just keep it PG-13!

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  #1  
Old 12 Sep 17, 22:07
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Urban hermit is simply cracking [600]
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2017 Darwin Award Nominations

Darwin Award Nominations, the 2017 election is now open, make your nominations and maybe we can elect a single winner in December
I'll start off the process,

Quote:
CHICAGO -- Three Chicago men charged with armed robbery in Lake Bluff inadvertently fled into the Highland Park Police Department while trying to elude capture Friday, according to police.

Eddie L. Hill, 24, of the 9300 block of South King Drive, Cordell C. Prince, 21, of the first block of East 100th Place and Aries A. Rickenbacker, 22, of the 800 block of South Vernon Avenue were all charged with armed robbery and related charges on Sept. 9, according to the Lake County Sheriff's website


At 4:13 p.m. Sept. 8, two men went into a Verizon store at 235 S. Waukegan Road. One had a semi-automatic handgun that he held against the head of a male employee, said Lake Bluff Deputy Chief Mike Hosking.

The men then forced the store's two employees to open the safe and used zip ties on the employee's wrists, he said. They took at least 20 cell phones and other electronic devices from the safe and left through the back door, Hosking said.

The employees freed themselves and called 911, Hosking said. Lake Forest and Highland Park squad cars were stationed along Route 41 and Lake Forest police officers saw a car speeding and run a red light at Kennedy Road, police said.

The chase continued along Route 41 and exited on Old Deerfield Road in Highland Park, Hosking said.

At Richfield Avenue and Deerfield Road, the car crashed, said Highland Park Deputy Chief Timothy Wilinski.

"That's when the suspects bailed," Wilinski said. "They fled on foot. Where the crash was, was adjacent to the police parking lot. One was taken into custody in the rear parking lot of the Highland Park Police Station. The other two fled on foot and ran into the lobby of the police station, where they were taken into custody."

Wilinski said the men may have unknowingly entered the station.

"I don't think they knew it was a police facility," Wilinski added. "They were hiding behind a vending machine in our lobby."

Hill and Prince are each being held at Lake County Jail against $500,000 bond. Rickenbacker is being held against $750,000 bond. If convicted on armed robbery, a class X felony, each could be sentenced to 6 to 30 years in prison, said Cynthia Vargas, spokesperson for the Lake County States Attorney.

All three were also charged with felony possession or use of a weapon, defacement of firearm ID markings and unlawful restraint.

The next court date for all three is Oct. 5.

Copyright 2017 Pioneer Press Newspapers (Suburban Chicago, Ill.)
http://www.officer.com/news/12367063...-while-fleeing
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  #2  
Old 12 Sep 17, 22:09
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Another nominee.

Quote:
SURF CITY, N.C. -- What started as a traffic stop ended as an ocean search Wednesday in Surf City after a suspect stopped by police jumped into the ocean and started swimming out to sea.

Zachary Kingsbury, 20, was a good swimmer, too, because it took three hours before Surf City Police could find and arrest him.

He was nearly a mile off shore when a police drone lost contact with him, police say. Drone video released Thursday showed Kingsbury was trailed by a

shark for a time, about 25 feet away. (The shark is seen swimming parallel to Kingsbury, in the lower right of the video.) It is unclear if he knew the shark was close by.

The ordeal began at about 4:15 p.m. Wednesday at a traffic stop on North Shore Drive, Surf City Police said. Officers reported they saw suspicious contraband on the passenger side of the vehicle. Kingsbury, who was driving, was asked to step out. Once out of the vehicle, he “fled the scene on foot, onto the beach, proceeding into the ocean,” police said.

A drone was deployed to keep track of Kingsbury’s progress in the ocean. However, the drone eventually ran out of battery power, reported TV station WWAY.

“After 60 minutes of flight time, Kingsbury was over 4,000 feet offshore and visual contact was lost. At that point, the operation became a rescue operation,” said a statement from Surf City Police.

The search eventually grew to include Pender EMS, the U.S
http://www.officer.com/news/12365028...ade-cops-shark
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  #3  
Old 12 Sep 17, 22:12
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Armed Men Rob Pub Full of Police Officers

Hard to bet genuine stupidity

Quote:
ideo Aug 31, 2017
​Two men who police said robbed a pub in Woodlawn may not have expected it to be full of police officers. Baltimore County police have two suspects in custody who they said robbed a pub Tuesday night at gunpoint.
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  #4  
Old 12 Sep 17, 22:14
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Just to be fair

Just to be fair, not all nominees are criminals

Quote:
Ohio Deputy Mistakenly Shoots Photographer.

A Clark County, Ohio Sheriff's deputy mistakenly shot a news photographer while on the scene of a traffic stop Monday night.

Deputy Jake Shaw was conducting the stop on Main Street near Studebaker's Restaurant around 10 p.m. when he spotted a subject holding what he believed was a weapon, according to The New Carlisle News.

The deputy then shot Andy Grimm, who was holding his camera and tripod in his hands as he prepared to take pictures.

Grimm was transported to Miami Valley Hospital for surgery for a gunshot wound to his side and is expected to recover.

"I was going out to take pictures and I saw the traffic stop and I thought, 'hey, cool. I'll get some pictures here,' " he told the news group that he works for following the incident. He pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant and started setting up his gear. "I turned around toward the cars and then 'pop, pop,' "

Grimm said that he was just doing his job and that while the deputy didn't give him a warning before shooting, he's not out for vengeance.

"I know Jake. I like Jake. I don't want him to lose his job over this," he said.

The Ohio Attorney General’s BCI division is currently investigating the incident
http://www.officer.com/news/12365018...s-photographer
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  #5  
Old 12 Sep 17, 22:38
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I think the guy in this one deserves mention:

http://www.cleveland.com/metro/index...mployee_f.html

Two robbers walk into a Taco Bell.... The employees are better armed than they are... Mayhem ensues...


Last edited by T. A. Gardner; 12 Sep 17 at 22:45..
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  #6  
Old 12 Sep 17, 22:39
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Urban hermit View Post
Hard to bet genuine stupidity

Honorable mention at best, as they didn't remove themselves from the gene pool, a requirement for a Darwin.
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  #7  
Old 12 Sep 17, 23:22
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These are the current DA nominees.

http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2017.html
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  #8  
Old 13 Sep 17, 23:06
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This guy qualifies

Quote:
RITZVILLE, Wash. -
Adams County deputies and Washington State Patrol are investigating after a man died following a police chase Tuesday evening.

The Adams County Sheriff's Office says a car was being pursued from Franklin County. The car had been eluding Franklin County, state patrol troopers and Connell Police. The driver continued to flee officers as he entered Adams County. Spike strips were used but were not effective.

In the area close to Ritzville, at Interstate 90 milepost 238, the man's car lost its tires and came to a stop.

Police ordered the man out of the car, but he took off on foot up an embankment and onto the overpass in the area. Train tracks were below. Deputies say the man jumped from the overpass onto a moving train and was killed.

The man's name has not been released pending notification of next of kin.

Additional details were not immediately available. As we learn more we will update this story.

http://www.khq.com/story/36352122/af...nto-train-dies
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  #9  
Old 14 Sep 17, 08:57
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Urban hermit View Post
Hard to bet genuine stupidity


ideo Aug 31, 2017
​Two men who police said robbed a pub in Woodlawn may not have expected it to be full of police officers. Baltimore County police have two suspects in custody who they said robbed a pub Tuesday night at gunpoint.
Some years ago some Mexican convicts dug an escape tunnel that came up in the prison officers' social club
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Old 14 Sep 17, 09:26
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Chief Constable Sir Percy Sillitoe, who was later to be Director General of MI5, was the man with the reputation of having broken the Glasgow Tongs (razor gangs) and told in his biographical account of his time as Chief Constable for Glasgow of two gang members brought up in court for an attack on one of his police sergeants. As was often the case the two gang members were small whippet like men. The Sergeant was six foot five tall and a regular participant in the Highland games which is mainly about picking up and throwing large very heavy objects. As he rose in the witness box the defence brief took one look at the mountain of a sergeant and at his some what bruised clients and addressed the sheriff (judge). "I think" he said "that there has been a mis-charge here and if the accusation of assault were dropped my clients might be persuaded to plead guilty to attempted suicide."
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Old 14 Sep 17, 10:08
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The Good Priest, ...

... Father Adelir Antônio de Carli of Brazil, was an outspoken critic of human rights violations by the police, and an experienced sky diver. To raise money for charity, he readied his parachute, helmet, GPS, food, water and thermal suit and took to the sky in a chair attached to 1,000 helium balloons.

The only problem was that he had not learned how to use his GPS device. After rising to 6,000 metres, he made a telephone call in which he asked for help with the device. None was given. Nine days after lift-off, the Brazilian Navy abandoned its search.

Two months later part of the priest’s body was found by an on oil rig support crew 100km out to sea. The Darwin Awards declared this a ‘double Darwin’, since the celibacy of Catholic priests already removes them from the evolutionary stream. Note, 2008 Darwin Award Winner.

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Last edited by Marmat; 14 Sep 17 at 10:20..
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