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| The Barracks For stuff that doesn't fit anywhere else. Members can retire from the serious discussions elsewhere on the forums...and relax here. |
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09 Nov 10, 05:41
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Real Name: Maggie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: The Left Coast
Posts: 8,780
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STD App for your cellphone...
Wow! I don't even know what to say about this except..YUCK!
Quote:
STD Test? There's an App for That
November 8, 2010 | 1:16 p.m
British health officials are hard at work on a new app that will allow users to pee into their cell phones and find out within minutes if they have an STD.
Seriously, we could not make this stuff up if we tried.
According to The Guardian, £4 million have been invested in the UK Clinical Research Collaboration, which is creating a smartphone app that will allow users, "to put urine or saliva on to a computer chip about the size of a USB chip, plug it into their phone or computer and receive a diagnosis within minutes."
The techno-savvy approached is aimed at young brits, who apparently are too embarrased to visit the doctor face to face and have been experiencing rising rates of STDs (or STIs if you prefer.)
"Your mobile phone can be your mobile doctor. It diagnoses whether you've got one of a range of STIs, such as chlamydia or gonorrhea and tells you where to go next to get treatment," Dr Tariq Sadiq, a senior lecturer and consultant physician in sexual health and HIV at St George's, University of London, who is leading the project, told The Guardian.
If it's really that simple, why wait till after the deed is done? Wouldn't it make more sense for prospective partners to swap fluids before hand, get a reading on their cell phones, and then decide whether or not to "finish the download"?
Link to article
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__________________
Music should strike fire from the heart of men, and bring tears from the eyes of women ~ Ludwig van Beethoven
Last edited by Persephone; 09 Nov 10 at 15:09..
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09 Nov 10, 06:30
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Real Name: Tin Pot Noodle
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Land of the Red Dragon
Posts: 13,058
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We'll all be carrying one of these soon .

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09 Nov 10, 07:50
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Real Name: Ron Picardi
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Sag Nasty
Posts: 6,503
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Already here in the form of the PDA, I Phone, Android, and other internet enabled devices with cameras, bluetooth, WiFi, GPS locators, and storage media. The wireless attachments with apps would be easy to add.
Soon, they will be recording and informing Big Brother if you are taking your Meds as prescribed.
http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE6A754720101108
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09 Nov 10, 08:30
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Real Name: Chris
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Johannesburg
Posts: 801
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I am a techno junkie, I admit it, and I love technology, not just the gadgets but the way its improved our lives. Now, I would not want to pee into my phone for any type of testing, thanks, not if I have to put against my ear to take a call again, but I would love an app that would do a breathalyser for me, so that before I hopped into my car, or indeed, before I left the bar, I could see if there was still capacity for another one, or maybe just stay and get a taxi home. that would be a great App.
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09 Nov 10, 08:45
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Real Name: Ryan
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Chicago
Posts: 3,918
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£4 million have been invested!

__________________
I have struck a city - a real city - and they call it Chicago... I urgently desire never to see it again. It is inhabited by savages. — Rudyard Kipling
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09 Nov 10, 09:55
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Valhalla
Posts: 3,161
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Lucky 6 nails it. Double quadruple facepalm.
Wasted money.
Persephone also nails it.
I can see us all down at the local bar. Suddenly Les Brains realizes he has to make a phone call. He turns to Nichols and asks if he can borrow his cell phone.
Then he pauses.
"That wasn't the one you peed in yesterday was it?"
D'oh!
__________________
RPG Wisdom: There is nothing more exhilarating than having an opponent roll to hit without result.
Warhammer 40K Wisdom: Heresy grows from buggy servers.
Try to learn the difference between prudence and paranoia.
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09 Nov 10, 10:02
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Northern Virginia
Posts: 379
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I just heard on the radio this morning that the rate of STD's is climbing in teens aged 15-19. Those dirty buggers will be the one's using this app the most I think. I'm sure if you've got herpes or crabs or whatever, peeing on your phone is the least of your worries. But Hells Bells, go see a friggin' doctor for the love of Christ!
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09 Nov 10, 11:54
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Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Colorado Rocky Mts, USA
Posts: 46,817
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LongBlade
Lucky 6 nails it. Double quadruple facepalm.
Wasted money.
Persephone also nails it.
I can see us all down at the local bar. Suddenly Les Brains realizes he has to make a phone call. He turns to Nichols and asks if he can borrow his cell phone.
Then he pauses.
"That wasn't the one you peed in yesterday was it?"
D'oh!
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Worse yet, he borrows the phone, says "Thanks, buddy, and promptly pees into it himself!
It will give a whole new meaning to the expression "Call me." 
__________________
Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? Who is watching the watchers?
"We have met the enemy...and they is us."
Pogo
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09 Nov 10, 12:38
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Real Name: Pat
Join Date: May 2006
Location: In your mind.
Posts: 17,151
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So, you're in a pub having had a few pints when your best mate says, "Could I use your cell phone?" Thinking he needs to call his better half you hand him the phone & before you know what's happening he's standing up pissing in it. Now, I ask you, which one of you is the fool?
__________________
"If you are right, then you are right even if everyone says you are wrong. If you are wrong then you are wrong even if everyone says you are right." William Penn.
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09 Nov 10, 12:40
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Valhalla
Posts: 3,161
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Yeah, well, hangin' around Nichols in a bar is the first mistake, but I've been know to make a few mistakes in my life...
__________________
RPG Wisdom: There is nothing more exhilarating than having an opponent roll to hit without result.
Warhammer 40K Wisdom: Heresy grows from buggy servers.
Try to learn the difference between prudence and paranoia.
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09 Nov 10, 13:18
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Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Colorado Rocky Mts, USA
Posts: 46,817
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Kind of begs the question of why a guy needs such an app in the first place, though.
If you need your cell phone to tell you that you have a problem with your plumbing, you have much bigger problems as well.
__________________
Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? Who is watching the watchers?
"We have met the enemy...and they is us."
Pogo
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09 Nov 10, 15:02
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Real Name: Ryan
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Chicago
Posts: 3,918
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LongBlade
I can see us all down at the local bar. Suddenly Les Brains realizes he has to make a phone call. He turns to Nichols and asks if he can borrow his cell phone.
Then he pauses.
"That wasn't the one you peed in yesterday was it?"
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One of the funniest posts I've had the honor of laughing at. How can something that you pee in, and also put to your face be sanitary in any way, shape, or form? We need to work on fixing stupid first.
__________________
I have struck a city - a real city - and they call it Chicago... I urgently desire never to see it again. It is inhabited by savages. — Rudyard Kipling
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09 Nov 10, 15:16
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Real Name: Maggie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: The Left Coast
Posts: 8,780
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MeenMutha
I am a techno junkie, I admit it, and I love technology, not just the gadgets but the way its improved our lives. Now, I would not want to pee into my phone for any type of testing, thanks, not if I have to put against my ear to take a call again, but I would love an app that would do a breathalyzer for me, so that before I hopped into my car, or indeed, before I left the bar, I could see if there was still capacity for another one, or maybe just stay and get a taxi home. that would be a great App.
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LG beat you to the idea. (LG LP4100)
I think it's a great idea, I'm sure it cuts down on DUIs.
http://blog.wize.com/my_weblog/2009/...lg-lp4100.html
.
__________________
Music should strike fire from the heart of men, and bring tears from the eyes of women ~ Ludwig van Beethoven
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09 Nov 10, 15:20
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Real Name: Maggie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: The Left Coast
Posts: 8,780
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This could be the greatest excuse if you do not want to loan your phone to someone.
Just tell them it's been peed on before.
.
__________________
Music should strike fire from the heart of men, and bring tears from the eyes of women ~ Ludwig van Beethoven
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09 Nov 10, 16:13
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Valhalla
Posts: 3,161
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Persephone
This could be the greatest excuse if you do not want to loan your phone to someone.
Just tell them it's been peed on before.
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Ladies: How do you know your boyfriend has been messing around behind your back?
He won't loan you his phone until he gets a new one.
__________________
RPG Wisdom: There is nothing more exhilarating than having an opponent roll to hit without result.
Warhammer 40K Wisdom: Heresy grows from buggy servers.
Try to learn the difference between prudence and paranoia.
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