The Incorrect Art of War [Episode 06] – Time Travelers of Death

To conquer the planet? How can you doubt it?

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(Desperate) Not to mention the danger to the time line in taking these people out of history.

Eh?

Well, imagine this my Lord you go back in time and take, say, Nelson out of history before the Battle of Trafalgar.

Does he still only have one eye when we grab him?

Probably….but that’s not important, if Nelson isn’t there to fight Trafalgar, what do you think would happen?

Well…erm…what was Trafalgar again?

The Battle of Trafalgar was one of the most important points in British history my Lord. The British fleet was outgunned and outnumbered yet they defeated a combined French and Spanish fleet that was larger than them in every respect without losing a single ship. It secured British dominance over the seas for the next 100 years. All of this was down to Admiral Lord Nelson. Now, imagine if Nelson hadn’t been there and the British had lost the battle, the French would have conquered all of Europe and probably the British Isles as well and you’d be speaking French.

Eurgh.

Eurgh indeed my Lord. And even if that hadn’t happened there would have been no British Navy to defend against the rampant German Imperialism of the early 20th century, the German fleet would have become the largest in the world and you’d be speaking German instead!

Oh my…

Not to mention the loss of the Empire and the bankruptcy of the United Kingdom. My Lord, every event has repercussions, even more so if you start to fiddle with time – if you go back in time and steal these men from history, you’ll be denying your own existence.

We can’t have that…

No my Lord, it would be a total disaster. You can’t go around changing established events. I’ve given you just one example but there are endlesss potential problems arising from your plan. Time travel would create more problems than it would solve. Even taking someone "insignificant" out of time could cause us all to be speaking Norwegian this time last week.

What have I done?

Nothing yet my Lord, nothing yet. Let’s leave it that way. Let’s concentrate on the future instead.

I am the future.

Precisely. Now, give me the box for safe-keeping and let’s go and watch the Dinosaurs feed.

(Hands over the box) I have got some other ideas I can show you?

That’s good, let’s go and see them shall we? (Drops the box unseen to the floor and gently treads on it with his boot, breaking it forever)

Thank you General, you are a loyal servant.

It’s my pleasure Lord.